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YumYummy Mummies Daily Blog 4 U.

Teaching your child to speak the language of ‘Public school’.

Monday 6^th January 2014

As a loving, caring mother myself, I aspire to ensure my children get the best out of their education. I aim to do this by teaching them how to speak the language of POWER. Now before you think I’m crazy, allow me to explain. The public schools in this country have a high level of success due to the way in which their pupils speak. I wish I could send my children to Public school; however, my financial situation could ruin that idea. So, imagine this… we teach our children to speak as if they have just rolled out of Public school.

I know, I know – you live in East London and if your child speaks like a posh totty then they will most definitely get battered. Well they don’t need to speak like pompous, cocky so-and-so’s. Instead they need to learn the techniques. So, that means no slang. Public school students choose to use ‘How do you do?’ and ‘utterly brilliant’ rather than the ‘alright’ and ‘that’s mint’.  It is fair to say some children who were brought up and attended school in East London, for example, may have a different language. The slang used in their everyday conversations boggles many adults – and teachers - alike. But does their choice of language really determine their intelligence? If you really want your child to be accepted into top universities – yes. SO LOWE THE SLANG, BLUDS. Because if you choose to use the ‘bluds, innits, bruvs’ etc., then you are automatically assumed to be thick.

Studies show ‘that 11 members of the elite Russell Group turned more places over to privately-educated pupils in 2011/12’. Then David Lyscom continued to say: ‘public schools invested heavily in teaching the skills needed for university entrance’. So pull up your big girls socks because this is exactly what you’re going to do. These ‘skills’ they speak so fondly of consist of the children omitting the abbreviations, the colloquialisms (slang to you and me) and correct use of negatives – I don’t have no idea what that means. You may want to teach your child to stop with the phrasal verbs.  I’m not saying they should speak like they have something stuck up their bum, but at least they should know how to speak Standard English.

Many children who attend state comprehensive schools are undeniably creative in their spontaneous speech. They use adjectives with negative meaning as words with a positive meaning. For example, ‘that’s sick!’, ‘that’s bad man!’ suggests to older generations that they are describing something revolting – but they’re not! These phrases are used to describe something amazing. Now to me this sounds like they are highly intelligent! Not only are they using simple Standard English but they are using it in a way that no other generation have before – to describe something with a totally different meaning than you would initially think.

But this may be just the public’s opinion. So, unfortunately you still need to work hard to teach your child standardisation.

Linguistic Specialist Jenny Cheshire states that males are more like to use non-grammatical features. In case you don’t know, this means words such as ‘ain’t’ and we ‘was’. Sorry to all the Mothers of boys – you got your work cut out! You know that Universities, Colleges, places of work will not employ a man who says ‘he ain’t got no idea’ so you need to make sure that he ain’t using this grammar no more!

I know you’re stressing out now thinking that you need to send your little mite to Etiquette lessons…

But no need to thank me, I am here to save the day! Researching very basic etiquette phrases that you can slot into every day conversations, could allow your children to pick up on them and start using them too! Here you go:

Please and Thank you          yeah I know, blatantly obvious!

You’re welcome                    kicking ourselves now, aren’t we?

May I                                       This one is crucial, you should encourage them to use this phrase rather than the ‘can I’ that most children have been brought up to use.

I beg your pardon                 This phrase sounds more mature and sophisticated than ‘pardon me’. Your child should never use ‘what’ when asking someone to repeat themselves.

Not only should you encourage your children to adapt these phrases into their language but

you should also discourage the more colloquial (slang) ones. For example:

Yep, yeah, and nope             What’s the need for these? It’s just as easy to say ‘yes and ‘no’ plus you sound much more formal

No Problem                           Based on my research, many professionals, such as University Admission tutors, warn you to steer away from this phrase as it has an abrupt meaning to it. They say you should replace it with you’re welcome.

So there you go! No need to panic, with my fabulous advice, your children should be off to college and University studying for their P.H.D in no time!